Okay… I’m going to just say it. I do not have it figured out. At all.
When I was a kid, I thought that my mom had it all figured out. I always went to her first, because, lets face it, none of us really think of our mom as a person…. Mom is our superhero, nurse, receptionist, chef, and the list goes on…
But as I got older, and started depending less and less on my mom, I realized that maybe she was winging it from time to time. And I think that because I am WINGING it MOST OF THE TIME.
My kids are 15 and 2.
Cameron, is my stepdaughter. She and I have been together since she was 3, and I love her so much it kills me. In fact, sometimes I am so hard on her because I want her to do so much with her life. I want her to be the best person she can be, and I want her to have things I never even came close to having. She’s smart, and beautiful and sometimes stubborn as hell, but I am in awe of her. She is so much stronger than I ever was. She is not afraid to try new things. I feel like that is one of the things as a parent, we strive for. To have our kids be fearless.
Many people also think that I would love her differently than I love the child I gave birth to.
I do not. At all. I love them both exactly the same.
Maddox is 2, soon to be 3. He is the smartest 2 year old I have ever met. I look at him and see complete and utter joy. He makes me want to get out of bed every day, because I can’t wait to show him all of the things that make this world an amazing place to live. He is truly obsessed with dinosaurs, particularly the pterodactyl. 🙂
My husband is probably the hardest worker on the planet. I feel like we don’t get nearly enough time together, between our schedules and the kids activities, but he is my best friend, and when the time comes that one of us will have to live with out the other, I’m selfish, and I hope its him, not me.
I look at people every day and think, “How do they do this?” How do people do date nights and fun weekends out of town? How do they get up every morning and actually get every person in the house out on time, looking like they showered? How do they cook dinner EVERY NIGHT?
This is what I mean about not having it figured out. We spend a lot of time at home. It feels like we barely have enough money to buy groceries, let alone spend the weekend out of town… I try to shower, at least every other day and I won’t even try to say that I cook dinner every night, because if given the choice, I’m ordering something that will deliver. I told you I don’t have a figured out.
I do though, LOVE my family to the ends of the earth. I will do absolutely anything to make them good, kind, happy people. I want their lives to be about memories, and experiences. I hope that some day they will feel the same way about their own families as I feel about them.
For now though, I’m going to take you along for the ride.